30 April 2008

Finding equilibrium

So, what's next??

I spent a good part of the day yesterday researching diabetes. I know quite a bit about it already, since I once did a series of informational articles about the disease and about the local chapter of the American Diabetes Association. In addition, my Dad developed the disease in the last 10 years of his life. So I felt like I had a good grasp on what this diagnosis meant for me.

And I do, intellectually. But viscerally, I feel sucker-punched.

In June of last year I stopped smoking. I went on the South Beach Diet. In July, I started walking several times a week, at least two miles each time, more often three and sometimes five. I lost 28 pounds. Following the diet instructions, I started adding, in small amounts, those forbidden carbs in the form of the “good” kind: whole grain bread, whole wheat/grain pasta, brown rice, occasional fruits, a few more vegetable varieties. My weight loss guttered out and stopped. I kept walking and, though I lost my momentum and my motivation, I continued to be careful of what I ate. I stuck to protein, ate lots more veggies than I’ve ever eaten in my life, and limited carbohydrates to the “good” ones and only very, very rarely the “bad” ones.

By January I’d gained 10 pounds back.

I’ve managed not to gain back any more, and while I haven’t been a Pillar of Dietary Perfection every single day, I’ve continued to eat healthily.

So the diabetes diagnoses was a real blow.

I haven’t heard from the VA yet regarding a new, and sooner appointment for the mammogram. That “density” is like a lead weight on my psyche right now, so I’d like to get that cleared up ASAP, one way or another. I know what to do about the diabetes as far as what I can do myself, without drugs – step up my dietary vigilance several notches and increase my exercise level.

So right now, I’m going to make a healthy, high-protein breakfast, and then I’m going for a walk.

3 comments:

Lucy said...

Wren,

I'm sorry to hear about your diabetes diagnosis. I know what you mean about feeling sucker punched. When I was told more than a year ago that my thyroid gland had stopped working, I was devastated. I felt betrayed by my body. My people were supportive, but no one really seemed to get that having a piece of my body just shut down fundamentally changed how I thought of myself. I was pretty pissed off about it for a while (and some days, I still am).

Day by day, you'll get more used to the diagnosis, but having a chronic health problem will change your life. That's the worst part.

What really helped me, and I know this is going to sound all new agey, was hypnosis and Rieki. I felt calmed and cleansed. The edge came off, and I was able to find a little peace.

Please email me if you want to talk or vent or whatever.

Larry Jones said...

Of course your life will change. Lives always do. You'll handle it, and be better, wiser and more productive than ever. Love from SoCal.

MichaelBains said...

Wow! Well, just remember - whatever other medicines you end up taking - that Laughter is always the best. (As long as you also take those other ones. Yup!)