Finding equilibrium

So, what's next??

I spent a good part of the day yesterday researching diabetes. I know quite a bit about it already, since I once did a series of informational articles about the disease and about the local chapter of the American Diabetes Association. In addition, my Dad developed the disease in the last 10 years of his life. So I felt like I had a good grasp on what this diagnosis meant for me.

And I do, intellectually. But viscerally, I feel sucker-punched.

In June of last year I stopped smoking. I went on the South Beach Diet. In July, I started walking several times a week, at least two miles each time, more often three and sometimes five. I lost 28 pounds. Following the diet instructions, I started adding, in small amounts, those forbidden carbs in the form of the “good” kind: whole grain bread, whole wheat/grain pasta, brown rice, occasional fruits, a few more vegetable varieties. My weight loss guttered out and stopped. I kept walking and, though I lost my momentum and my motivation, I continued to be careful of what I ate. I stuck to protein, ate lots more veggies than I’ve ever eaten in my life, and limited carbohydrates to the “good” ones and only very, very rarely the “bad” ones.

By January I’d gained 10 pounds back.

I’ve managed not to gain back any more, and while I haven’t been a Pillar of Dietary Perfection every single day, I’ve continued to eat healthily.

So the diabetes diagnoses was a real blow.

I haven’t heard from the VA yet regarding a new, and sooner appointment for the mammogram. That “density” is like a lead weight on my psyche right now, so I’d like to get that cleared up ASAP, one way or another. I know what to do about the diabetes as far as what I can do myself, without drugs – step up my dietary vigilance several notches and increase my exercise level.

So right now, I’m going to make a healthy, high-protein breakfast, and then I’m going for a walk.