33/50 - Won't hurt a bit

VA medical center today, first appointment. Doc’s an old lady hippy, quick and lithe with long gray hair and a sweet smile.

The New Rules, good for arthritis hands and hot flashes: No more coffee. No sugar. Take fish oil and grapeseed extract, magnesium and whole foods.

Give up coffee? I swallow hard.

“It will help.”

Hands x-rayed. The reservist who jabbed me with pneumonia vaccine joked about the “shot lines” in basic training. “Remember that?” he asked gleefully.

Oh, did I. Imagine: A gauntlet of hypodermics, each one for your two arms. Left, right, left, right.

I’m still smiling.