01 May 2008

Appointment with life

As I got ready for my appointment with the mammogram machine today, I found myself wondering – perversely, morbidly – if I’d just dressed up nicely, with careful hair, makeup and subtle pink lipstick on my lips, for an appointment with Death.

I realized I was afraid.

I’d put on a brave front. I’m very independent. So I was going to the VA Medical Center alone. Mr. Wren was wrapped up in Master Gardener stuff, so I hadn’t asked him to come. My Mom had an appointment to take all her junk mail and old papers and receipts to a shredding place. She lives in terror of identity theft and has been talking about doing this for weeks, together with my aunt. I didn’t want her to cancel her plans. My daughter was at work -- and she got her two new kittens today.

I wished I’d asked my friend J to go with me. It was almost time to head out – it’s a 40-mile drive. I looked at my cell phone. I could call her. I could ask her to meet me somewhere along the way, and she could ride with me the rest of the way. If she didn’t already have plans. If.

I called her.

My dear heart-sister J said of course she’d go with me. She threw on clothes, hopped in her car and we met at a park-and-ride on the way down the mountain. Went to the VA Med Center, and I checked in for the mammogram. While I waited, J made me laugh. She was texting her friend who’s a financial advisor, calling him a slut. A nurse called me in.

Twenty minutes later, after some yee-owchy but thankfully brief discomfort, there were results. There were some dark masses in my left breast.

Next step, then. I was very calm, but I felt trapped. They said they'd do an ultrasound. Right then, right there, don’t pass GO, don’t collect $200. I was led off to another room.

There, the doctor/radiologist looked at the ultrasound tech’s first attempt and decided to do it himself. I tried not to think.

And then, with a big smile, he told me we were done. The dark mass was just fibrous tissue, definitely not cancer. I could relax – this sort of tissue was normal in women my age and nothing to worry about.

“See you next year,” he said, and left.

Holygods. I wanted a drink. I wanted a smoke. I wanted a drink and a smoke. Instead, I got a huge, tight bearhug from J and we went out for a lunch of falafel, Greek salad and baba ganoush.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words of comfort. Looks like I'm sticking around for a while.

10 comments:

dorki said...

Very good news to hear that it is only fibrous tissue. My wife has similar condition, it is always a thing to keep checked.

As you know, the diabetes can be lived with as long as careful treatment is observed. From your 30 April post, you are eating and exercising in a healthy manner (better than I am) so you are far along the way to stabilizing the system.

May I join the rest of your readers in encouragement, and wishes for the very best in the future!

Larry Jones said...

We'll get you for this, Wren!

Lucy said...

Yippee. The big Greek lunch sounds wonderful. I'm especially glad that the hospital gave you the ultrasound right away. And J sounds like the perfect friend to have in situations like those. Thanks for sharing your great news.

You'll do okay with the diabetes too. Pretty soon, it'll be a lowercase rather than a capital D. You'll see what I mean.

It sounds like you're taking really good care of yourself--your physical self and your soul.

blue girl said...

Yay, Wren!

The dark mass was just fibrous tissue

This runs in my family and I was going to say something about it before but then stopped myself. No one needs to hear someone yammering on and on.

Did they talk to you about *not* drinking *any* caffeine? Avoiding caffeine is a big deal when it comes to that.

Again, yay. And what a great friend you have!

Happy Friday!

Bubs said...

Great news! My bride just went through a similar scare a few months ago. Glad to hear you have one less fear to deal with.

Jeremy said...

I'm so happy. But if that's what it takes to get the lunch, then that's what it takes.

Dragon Laugh said...

J rocks. And I'm very glad you're ok. :)

robin andrea said...

That's great news. Glad it worked out that way, and that you had your good friend J with you to enjoy a yummy lunch afterwards.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Wow, I stay away from the blogosphere for a week and miss all sorts of stuff... Glad you're okay!!

MichaelBains said...

Woo Hoo!!! I'm very glad you had J with you too! It always helps to have a fun friend keeping you enjoying the journey; especially when it could be to that kind o' dark place. And then, *poof* the end of that trip was all light and airy! w00t!

:)))